Insanity
by shulesaddict77
Summary: He was her enemy. She loathed him. He was the man who was responsible for her father's and brother's death. He was a monster. But hate wasn't the only feeling he elicited in her.
1. Chapter 1

**This is dedicated to a friend over on Tumblr. If she wouldn't have reblogged gifsets of them I wouldn't have started to watch the show again. It took only two gifsets for me to ship them. I should probably get professional help very soon. :-)**

**Okay, this story is dedicated to **_Xarrya_**. It's M-rated and for everyone who doesn't know my writing ... it's M-rated for a reason. For language and smut for now. I don't know where this story is going yet so there might be some violent scenes coming in later chapters. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

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**Chapter 1**

"You're a monster." Charlie gritted out through clenched teeth, her fingers flexing against the wall.

"I know." He shifted behind her, pressing her harder against the concrete.

She should have never followed him. She didn't know what she was thinking. Maybe the heat was screwing with her head, erasing every common sense. There was no other explanation for her idiocy. Of course he knew she was following him and he had just ignored her until she rounded a corner and almost ran him over, his arms coming around her and pushing her backwards, swirling her around and slamming her into the wall of the hut she hadn't noticed before.

A trickle of sweat ran down her cheek, her top was clinging to her skin, her whole body covered with a film of sweat and dirt. The heat was excruciating, the humidity suffocating.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled a deep breath, biting her tongue to suppress a moan as his scent hit her. She shouldn't be aroused by it. He stank. But there was also another scent, insanely male, a scent that pushed all her buttons, making her skin tingle and wetness pool between her legs.

"Leave me alone, Monroe." She snapped, annoyed with herself. She didn't want to lust after him.

"Do you really want that?" He shifted again and she felt his hard length pressing into her ass and a groan slipped over her lips.

"Tell me, Charlotte. Do you really want me to stop?" His lips trailed over her ear as he continued in a hoarse whisper. "Say yes and I'll step away. Say yes, Charlotte, and I will let you go."

"Fuck you!" Charlie hissed.

He pulled her arms up, gathering her wrists in one hand, his arm going around her waist and hauling her backwards, his hand moved over her stomach, his thumb skimming the underside of her breast and her nipples immediately tightened in response.

"Charlotte, you have to leave! Now!" His hot breath brushed over her cheek, his hoarse voice whispering in her ear. "I want to fuck you. Really hard. And if you don't want me to, you have to say it now."

His hand loosened his grip around her wrists and he actually stepped back. Charlie only hesitated one second before she turned around and met his gaze.

"I need an answer."

"This is insane, Sebastian."

"I know!" He replied, shrugging one shoulder. "But this whole world is insane since the blackout. The only question right here and now is ..." He paused, locking eyes with her before he added. "Do you want me?"

"We can't do it, Bass. It's wrong." Charlie tried to talk herself out of it but then he closed the gap between them again, his fingers closing around her jaw and tilting her head up.

"Charlie, ..." A shiver ran down her spine, her stomach clenching. He almost never called her Charlie and somehow hearing him calling her by the name everyone else used made her even more aroused.

His lips brushed over hers, his tongue sweeping over her bottom lip and she shuddered, her eyes falling shut, her hands clenching into fists beside her body to keep herself from ripping his shirt open. He flicked his tongue over her lips once again, his fingers tightening and his hoarse voice was shooting sparks through her whole body as he rasped. "It might be wrong. But I want you."

She opened her eyes, pressing her head against the wall to look into his eyes, the passion blazing out of them making her heart beat faster and she licked her lips, a hot ball of lust shooting straight to her core as his eyes darkened with desire as his gaze dropped to her lips.

"Yes or no?" His voice was curt, the words coming out clipped.

She just stared at him, seconds ticked by, neither of them moved and her whole body was screaming yes but her brain was telling her no and before she even realized what she was doing she grabbed his head and yanked him forward, her lips crushing on his, her tongue darting aggressively into his mouth and as if the last remains of his control vanished he exploded, his hips rocking forward, his hands shooting down to her waist, his fingers digging into her flesh as he grinded against her.

She felt as if her body was going up in flames and she slipped one hand between their bodies, tugging his shirt loose, her fingers slipping behind the waistband of his pants, gripping him tightly, starting to pump him immediately and he wrenched his mouth off hers with a guttural groan, his eyes burning into hers and his hands trailed upwards, tearing her shirt down, and leaning down his mouth closed around one of her nipples, sucking it in hard, his other hand slipping under her pants, sliding through her folds and her hand tightened around him as his finger pushed into her.

"Fucking Christ, you are already soaking wet!" His voice turned husky and he leaned back, watching her as he started to pump his finger in and out of her.

Her hand slackened around him, her breath hitching in her throat as he added a second finger, thrusting them in and out of her even faster. She bit her tongue to keep herself from moaning and pulling her hand out of his pants she pushed him back, her voice hoarse and commanding. "Get in me, Monroe. Now!"

His fingers slipped out of her, his hands tearing her shirt off, his mouth shooting down, his tongue forcing his way into her mouth, kissing her passionately while both fumbled with their clothes, their hands colliding as they took them off as fast as possible.

He stepped back then, letting his eyes trail up and down her body, his gaze heating up. Her eyes dropped to his prominent erection and her mouth went dry as she imagined him being buried deep in her.

When she met his gaze again the hunger in his eyes knocked the breath out of her and a second later his hands grabbed her, lifting her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him even closer.

"I … we don't have ..." He murmured, his muscles bulging as he clearly fought for control.

"It's not the right time." Charlie answered, immediately knowing what he was concerned about.

"Okay." She felt him against her entrance and sucked in a breath, waiting for him to push into her but he didn't move, his voice barely audible as he breathed. "Still sure you want this?"

"Fuck, Monroe." She growled, digging her nails into his skin. "Don't get all sentimental on me now. Just fuck me."

She gasped loudly as he rammed himself into her, her breath whooshing out of her. He was so big, stretching her almost painfully and she let her head fall back against the wall, gritting her teeth, almost drowning in the sensations rushing through her body, her walls clenching in anticipation as she waited breathlessly for him to start moving.

But he didn't and she opened her eyes again, looking up at him, wanting to slap him as she saw the clear concern in his eyes. He was a monster. This was supposed to be a quick fuck. Nothing more. She didn't want to see the humanity in him. She didn't want to see the man she knew was buried deep inside him. The man she'd seen more and more glimpses of over the last few weeks.

She pulled his head forward, her teeth digging into his bottom lip until she drew blood, her hands fisting his hair as she drew him back with more force than necessary.

"I'm waiting." Charlie said, a clear challenge in her eyes, suppressing a shudder as he slipped slowly out of her, making her feel every inch of him and holding his gaze, her voice turned defiant as she added. "You said you wanted to fuck me hard. Then do it. Or are you gonna chicken out, General Monroe?"

He stiffened, searching her eyes for a second before his mouth turned up into a hard smile and he said lowly. "Then hard you'll get."

Charlie let out a loud cry as he slammed back into her, his thrusts coming hard and cruel, everything burned, her whole body was on fire, sweat was pouring down their skins, their slick flesh clashing together as he pounded into her mercilessly. She'd never been fucked like that before.

It hurt. He took her rough, not caring if it was painful for her, exactly as she had asked him to and she didn't want him to stop but her walls already felt sore. She would probably not be able to walk without pain for a whole day but it was the most fantastic sex she'd ever had.

Primal. Passionate. Unbridled.

She never wanted it to end but she could feel him getting closer, his thrusts becoming more erratic and suddenly his hand was on her clit, rubbing her hard and she cried out as the orgasm hit her, ripping through her, her walls clenching around him, his guttural groan shooting another wave through her body and he still thrusted into her. Once. Twice. His body going rigid as he emptied himself in her.

It took her a while to think straight again, her muscles already protesting as she felt his hand coming around her thigh, pulling her leg down. He slipped out of her, his fingers digging into her waist for a second before he stepped back and reached for his clothes.

They got dressed in silence and Charlie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, the thoughts ricocheting through her brain.

_Jesus Fucking Christ! _

Was she insane now? She just fucked Monroe. The man she wanted to kill only a few months ago. Her stomach churned in self-loathing. Couldn't she have found someone else to fuck? No, of course not. It had to be fucking Sebastian Monroe.

"This was a mistake." Charlie said quietly, avoiding his gaze as she slipped her feet into her boots and bent down to tie the laces. "This will never happen again."

She straightened herself, staring over his shoulder, still not able to meet his eyes. "I gotta go!"

"Charlotte?" She could hear the teasing tone in his voice and she wanted to just keep walking but her body didn't listen and she stopped, turning around to him slowly. His mouth was tilted up into a lopsided grin, his shirt still unbuttoned, the pants riding low on his hips.

"I'm gonna fuck you again!"

A hot surge of lust shot through her body but she just cocked one eyebrow, shooting back. "Not gonna happen, Monroe."

His smile broadened and she felt the immense urge to slap it off his face. Her jaw tightened as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his chest, his pants slipping an inch lower, revealing a fair line of hair and she gulped hard, forcing herself to look away, cursing inwardly as she saw his knowing smirk, his voice a taunting drawl as he said.

"We'll see, Charlotte. We'll see."

She didn't even give him an answer, just swirled around and walked away. She would not give in to the desire again. She would not. It had been a mistake. A one time only thing. She just needed to get rid of some sexual frustration. That was all.

It would never happen again!

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**There will be flashbacks in later chapters to show how they got to this point! Because obviously some things must have happened to change Charlie's hostility towards him and to make Monroe look at her as a woman and not a kid.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites!**

**Okay, I'm gonna go back now. The 'backstory' to the first chapter is four chapters long in my head right now but my muse might throw another idea at me on the way. These chapters are gonna be a little shorter. More like snippets to see how the sexual tension between them is rising.**

**This chapter picks up where yesterday's episode (2x05) ended. Well, to be precise ... the morning after. I'm ignoring the promo for 2x06 here. So if you haven't seen the episode yet ... spoilers ahead!**

**I hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2**

_8 weeks ago_

"He just pulled the trigger without giving it another thought!" Rachel said, her voice getting louder and angrier as she added. "He is dangerous, Miles. We can't trust him."

"But we need him! I need him!" Miles argued. "It was a rash decision. I wouldn't have killed him. But he is dead now. I can't change that. Now we just have to make the best of it."

"He is a monster." Rachel said sharply. "He has to leave."

"He is having my back, Rachel. I don't like it. At all. But he knows me and I know him. We know how the other ticks, how the other works, how the other moves. We make a good team."

"Then train someone to have your back."

"You don't just have this blind understanding with someone only after a few hours of training, Rachel. You know that. It's not that easy."

"I don't want him here."

This argument was going on for over half an hour now and Charlie was tired of listening to it. Maybe she shouldn't have come back. Maybe she should have just cut all the ties and leave everything behind without looking back. But she couldn't and that was why she was here. Because her family was here.

Miles. Her mom.

"Why exactly did you bring him here anyway, Charlie?" Rachel said angrily and Charlie turned her head slowly, raising an eyebrow. "Just tell me! What changed your mind?"

"He saved my life." She said it quietly, her voice in stark contrast to the loud voice of her mother and she shrugged one shoulder, leaning against the wall nonchalantly, realizing that she should just tell the whole story and maybe then they would stop shouting at each other.

"I chased him to kill him and I almost succeeded. The arrow would have hit him right in the heart and it would have been over. But a bounty hunter tackled him to the ground and my arrow missed. I followed them but got caught. Monroe escaped but he came back when he found this." Charlie reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out the piece of paper she was carrying around with her all the time to remind herself why she came back in the first place, holding it towards her mother, waiting for her to take it before she continued. "He offered his help. I refused. Told him he shouldn't follow me but he did. I was reckless. Drinking in a shady bar and they put something in my drinks. Some kind of drug that immobilized me. Monroe came in at the exact right moment, killed them all and got me out of there. I know he is a killer but if he wouldn't have gone after me I might be dead by now. So, I owe him, okay?"

"And that just makes it all okay?" Rachel snapped. "What he did in the past?"

"No, it doesn't." Charlie said firmly, looking her mother straight in the eyes. "But we need all the help we can get."

~B&C~

She stopped in the shadows of the building, watching him. It was almost impossible to see him unguarded. She knew he was wearing a mask most of the times and when he didn't ... she couldn't tell the difference. She didn't know him well enough to detect if he was playing her or if he was being honest. But right in that moment she was pretty sure he didn't have a mask on and she was curious.

Something inside her stirred, something she didn't want to feel. She was actually interested in the man behind the mask, the man he hid deep inside of him. She had learned over the last months to read people and she could see there was more to him.

At the fire when she had woken up from her drug induced sleep she had wanted to lash out. She had wanted to hurt him. But she hadn't been completely honest. She didn't believe that he was empty inside. No one was. Everyone was driven by something. Even sociopaths. And maybe it was the bad guy thing that drew her towards him.

She knew it wasn't rational, she knew it wasn't logical. She still hated him with a passion but there was just something ...

"No! This is insane, Charlie." She spoke out loud, interrupting her thought process. "Don't try to find excuses for his behavior. He is a killer. He always was a killer and he will always be a killer."

~B&C~

She was right. He was a killer. Last night he had just killed another man without hesitation. It was getting too easy to pull the trigger. He had been telling Emma the truth. The old Bass was dead.

He didn't know when he had crossed the line. He couldn't say when it had happened, if there even was one specific moment when everything spiraled out of control and he started murdering people without letting himself feel bad about it.

But being here now, seeing the hate in Rachel's eyes, Miles' reluctant acceptance of him being here, fighting with them against the patriots ... it felt like a punch right into the gut.

He had missed this. He had missed being a part of a family. He had missed his brother. But he knew he had lost him. Miles might not kill him but he would never be his friend again. You just couldn't erase the past. Their friendship was tainted now and would never be the same again. He knew that. But he still missed it.

Cold and empty. She was probably right. There was no way that he could go back to the person he was before the blackout. Before he lost his family. Too much had happened. The old Bass was really and truly gone.

"And you were actually surprised when I called you a killer."

Her voice jerked him out of his thoughts and he cursed inwardly, chastising himself for being that careless. He didn't even pay attention to his surroundings. He didn't hear her approach. The mask slipped over his face in seconds, years of practice making it as easy as putting on a cloak.

"What do you want, Charlotte?" He said coolly, his expression stoic as he straightened himself and turned around to her.

"You know I was okay with the whole 'you actually helping us' and you saved my life." Charlie replied. "I owe you. But you make it really hard to convince the others that we need your help. So would you just cool it a little?"

He moved so fast that she couldn't even react, his arms grabbing her shoulders and yanking her forward, his face only inches away from hers as he growled. "I don't take orders from you, Charlotte. I'm a sociopath. Remember? Why shouldn't I act accordingly?"

"Get your hands of me, Monroe!"

He kept her pressed against his body for a few more seconds, his eyes burning into hers and she lifted her chin, holding his gaze, not willing to show him any weakness.

"I'll do what I have to do and I suggest you'll do the same." He said calmly, his voice ice cold before he released her and stepped back, his voice turning indifferent as he added. "Go back to your family, Charlotte. You don't have to keep an eye on me."

"I'm not keeping an eye on you."

"Then what are you doing here? Other than checking up on me?"

"I ..." She couldn't find an appropriate comeback because she couldn't even explain it to herself why she was here. Why she had been looking for him.

He didn't say anything, just threw her a lopsided grin before he turned around and walked away, leaving her alone with her confusing thoughts. She just couldn't figure him out and the feeling was back. More prominent than ever before. Curiosity.

"Fuck you, Monroe." Charlie hissed, angry with herself for letting him get to her. "Just fuck you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites! **

**And without further ado on to the chapter!**

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**Chapter 3**

_6 weeks ago_

As the fire crackled in front of her, the chirping of the crickets the only sound beside the hissing sound of the flames, she remembered the last time they had been sitting in front of a fire. After he'd saved her. When she told him he is a killer. That he was empty and cold inside.

She had actually meant it back then and she still knew he was a ruthless killer. He showed it time and time again that he had no mercy when he thought murdering someone was for the greater good or just suited his goal.

But she had watched him carefully and she couldn't help it. She wanted to know why. She had seen him with Miles when both forgot that they weren't friends anymore that they were just allies in the war against the patriots. She had seen the genuine smiles, the joy in their eyes before they realized what they were doing and retracted back into their 'new' selves.

There was history there. History Charlie was curious to know about. What made Miles and Monroe the way they were now? What happened after the blackout? What happened to make them both go down the dark path?

Monroe poked with a stick through the fire, turning the potatoes around. He was well aware that Charlie was watching him. He had seen the flitting gazes, her curious glances. He knew she was trying to figure him out, to look under his skin and normally he would just grin about it, probably trying to play with her, faking emotions.

But Charlie was different. Something about her made him wish he could change his past. What was ridiculous. He couldn't change his past even if he wanted to. But he tried not to dwell in the past. Looking at his past meant he had to look at all the mistakes he had made, at all the pain, all the loses and he really didn't want to remember.

Averting her gaze, Charlie stared into the fire, trying to mash down her curiosity. But something had changed since that night. Somehow they worked well together. Actually going on missions together, working as a team as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She always ignored the accusing stares of her mother, the threatening looks Miles gave Monroe when they went on one of their missions.

She felt good. It felt good to work with him and she knew it was all wrong to see him as a human being. Every time she caught herself softening up to him, she reminded herself that if he hadn't been the general of the republic, her father and her brother might still be alive and it worked. The anger always coming back with a vengeance. But it got harder and harder each time to make herself remember. She hated to feel that way. She hated him for getting under skin. But she couldn't change it.

"Tell me a story." Charlie suddenly broke the silence, surprised about her own outburst.

"What?"

"A story. I'm sure Miles and you did a lot of stupid things before the blackout. Tell me one."

He stared at her for a few seconds before he shrugged his shoulders, his eyes crinkling as he grinned, obviously remembering his times with Miles and with the grin still curling up his mouth he started to speak.

"There was this one time ..."

She didn't really hear what he was saying, too captivated by the emotions flashing up in his eyes. He was different. The man she saw right now was different and it completely threw her. The man telling her a story about a prank he and his childhood friend had played a teacher was a man she felt connected to, a man she had an interest in. An interest to get to know him better. And it was so wrong. So wrong to feel that way.

She was actually smiling at him. A genuine smile. Unguarded. A smile that even reached her eyes. But then she furrowed her brows, her gaze turning pensive.

"What?" He asked.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." The moment the word was out of his mouth he knew he shouldn't have said it. She was getting too close. He could feel it. He could see it. He should have said no. But it was too late.

"How did you get like this?"

"What do you mean?" He knew exactly what she meant but he tried to stall because for some strange reason he couldn't lie to her. He couldn't make up some story. He would tell her the truth and he didn't really want to tell her. Telling the truth made him too vulnerable and he had stopped showing people his weak sides a long time ago. But somehow Charlie had managed to weasel herself through all his defenses and now he couldn't get her out anymore.

"How did you become this person? Where did the Sebastian go who played harmless pranks with his best friend?"

"He died." He replied flatly.

"How?"

"You can be very persistent, Charlotte." Monroe tried to shoot her a lopsided grin but his mouth didn't want to cooperate.

"I know." Charlie said quietly.

"Why do you wanna know?

"Make me understand." Charlie told him, her voice turning urgent. "Why, Monroe? What made you change?"

He stared into the fire, not saying anything for minutes and Charlie already thought he wouldn't tell her anything as he suddenly started to speak.

"There were a lot of things coming together over the years. It's pointless to talk about it. I did what I did. I can't take it back anymore. I can't erase it. It happened."

"But what pushed you over the edge? There has to be something that pushed you over the line." Charlie said intently, not really understanding why she was so intent to hear an explanation, a reason for his behavior. "Tell me! Please!"

"Did Miles ever tell you about my family?" When Charlie only shook her head he continued, not knowing why exactly he was baring himself to her but not able to stop. "They died in a car accident and … Miles saved me."

He looked up then but Charlie only raised an eyebrow, telling him silently to continue and as if he was under some kind of spell he told her one of his most guarded secrets, a secret only Miles knew about. "I wanted to end it right then and there. When I was sitting in front of the graves with the pistol in my hand. But Miles stopped me. Sometimes I think he should have just let me pull the trigger."

"I ..."

But he held up his hand, telling her silently to not say anything. "I'm not finished. So let me tell the story. You wanted to hear it."

Charlie just nodded, scooting forward a little bit, her eyes intently on him. She could see the pain in his eyes, could feel how much it cost him to tell her and she felt a strange tug where her heart was, trying to ignore it as he started to speak again.

"It was three years after the blackout. I had a girlfriend. She was pregnant." He had to pause, not able to continue immediately, the memories of that day almost too painful to revisit but then he gulped hard, realizing that she wouldn't stop pestering him until he finished his story anyway. "She died. She and the kid died in childbirth. And after that … life just seemed pointless." He inhaled deeply, his eyes glued to the fire in front of him. "I think that was what ultimately pushed me over the edge."

She couldn't help it. Her heart clenched in her chest upon hearing his story. It didn't excuse what he did but it made her understand.

"I'm sorry." She leaned forward, her voice low.

"Me too."

She hadn't realized that she had covered his hand with hers but as she stared into his eyes she could feel his skin burning against hers, the air between them suddenly thick with tension.

Her eyes flickered to his lips and back to his eyes, a sudden yearning clenching her stomach and his eyes narrowed, his fingers tightened around hers and for a second she thought he would pull her in, his eyes blazing with an expression that shot a jolt through her body.

God! She wanted to kiss him!

But then he broke the eye contact, pulling his hand back and standing up he walked to the other side of the fire, shuffling around in their bags, pulling out their blankets and throwing one in her direction, he said sharply.

"We should go to sleep! We have a long way to ride tomorrow!"

He didn't even look at her once. Just laying the blanket on the ground and using his saddle as a pillow, he closed his eyes and before she could say anything he shifted, turning his back to her.

Charlie inhaled deeply, shaking herself out of her stupor and laying her blanket on the ground, she settled down. She deliberately turned her back to the fire too but she only lasted a minute before she rolled over, her eyes searching his form over the fire and she stared at his back until her eyes were drooping, asking herself over and over again how it was possible that she cared about him so much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you very much for the reviews, follows and favorites!**

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**Chapter 4**

_4 weeks ago_

He was avoiding her as best as he could. Ever since the moment at the fire she kept popping up in his brain. During the day he was able to just ignore it and go on with whatever task he was currently engaging in. But at night he couldn't keep her out of his mind. His dreams jerking him awake, a curse on his lips, his hand clutched tightly around his cock, his mind filled with images of her when he started to move his hand, pumping harder and harder until the release spilled out of him.

He didn't know where they came from all of a sudden, those inappropriate thoughts about Miles' niece. She was a kid. She was barely twenty. He could be her father. She was way too young and considering their past he shouldn't feel anything for her other than wanting to protect her and make amends for what he'd done to her family.

It was insane to have erotic dreams about her. Just insane.

But damn it. She had looked at him as if she wanted him to kiss her. He hadn't imagined her eyes flickering to his mouth and back to his eyes and the realization that he actually wanted to kiss her had felt like someone had just sucker-punched him.

He wanted to forget this moment, wanted to erase it out of his brain but it wasn't working and not even jerking off in the middle of the night was enough anymore. Now he already got half hard whenever he heard her voice or got a whiff of her unique scent.

It was time to jump in the lake again. Maybe swimming a few rounds would help him get rid of the tension that was gripping his body so tight that he feared his muscles would never relax again. Letting out a heavy sigh, he stepped out of the forest into the sun, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes fell on the lake.

Someone was in there. _She_ was in there. Naked.

He clutched his hands into fists, his jaw locking tightly, his cock already hardening in his pants as he watched her bend her head back to wash her hair. He could see the swell of her breasts coming out of the water and he held his breath, his whole body rigid as he waited for her to bend further back so that her whole breasts would break through the water.

He should turn around and walk away. He shouldn't watch her. But it was as if the connection between his brain and legs wasn't working anymore. He couldn't move a muscle.

A groan rumbled out of his throat as she stood up, the water running down her breasts. Breasts that were perfectly rounded, breasts that would fill his hands just right. He could practically feel her nipples pressing into his palms while he kneaded the flesh and his mouth went dry as he imagined leaning down and taking one of her nipples into his mouth, how it would feel to let his tongue twirl around it.

His body was shaking as he needed every ounce of will power he had to keep himself from running into the lake and just haul her into his arms.

He wanted her. He wanted her bad.

The droplets running down her skin were glistening in the sun as they slid over her taut stomach and his eyes dropped further down, the water sloshing low against her stomach, almost revealing more, and alone the thought of plunging deep into her made his cock jerk.

"Fuck!" He growled, taking a step back, intend on getting the hell out of there. But he knocked a stone loose which tumbled down and splashed loudly into the water, the sound echoing over the lake, making it impossible for him to flee without her witnessing his retreat.

Charlie stiffened as she heard the loud splash, her mind racing to come up with escape strategies, coming up blank since she was completely naked and definitely at a huge disadvantage. She cursed herself for being so stupid to take a bath in the lake. But the water had been so tempting and she had felt dirty and clammy all over and just couldn't resist.

She lowered herself into the water and turned around slowly, roaming her eyes over the shore, spotting a figure standing not far away at the border of the lake. It only took her a second to recognize that she wasn't in any danger and she relaxed slightly.

It was only Monroe. She had been lucky. It was just Monroe.

At least he was no danger to her life. But being naked in his presence was pretty unfortunate. She had actually been glad that he had seemed to avoid her over the last two weeks, making it easier for her to forget her weak moment at the fire. She had just felt sorry for him for a few minutes but she was over it now. Definitely over it

She started swimming to the shore but the nearer she got to the shore the stronger got the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. When she could feel the bottom scrap at her knees she planted her hands into the sand, careful to stay far enough in the lake so he wouldn't see anything, grateful for the murkiness of the water. Searching his eyes, she waited for him to move or say something but he kept stock still, the intensity of his gaze making her stomach clutch and her skin prickle.

Damn it to hell! She was attracted to him. She couldn't help it. There was just something about him that turned her on more than it should. She couldn't say what it was but as she looked at him now she could feel her core starting to pound.

She wanted him. God help her, but she wanted him.

Not that she would ever let him know or act on it. That was impossible. She wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. No matter how hard her body screamed for him and it screamed really loud. But she wouldn't give in. Not even for a quick fuck. Not even for a kiss. Nothing.

"Would you turn around, please?" She said harshly, quirking one eyebrow.

"Sure." He said curtly, swinging around and Charlie let herself admire his back for just a second before she walked out of the water and over to her clothes.

As she got dressed as quick as possible she was well aware of his nearness behind her, her body tingling with a deep ache and as she shoved her feet into her boots she suddenly realized that the moment she had heard the splash she had been actually standing up, her whole torso being out of the water and the thought of him taking in her naked body shot chills down her spine, making her wonder how long he had been watching her.

"You can turn around now."

"You enjoyed your bath?"

"Did you like what you saw?" Charlie couldn't help asking, her breath catching in her throat as he looked her up and down, his mouth curling up into a lopsided smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He drawled, folding his arms over his chest, staring at her provocatively, waiting for her to back away or give him a sharp retort, masking his surprise as she began to stroll over to him with swaying hips, stopping only a few feet in front of him.

"How delusional are you that you think I would ever want you?" Charlie questioned, her voice thick with mockery.

"Who said that I want you?" Bass shot back, closing the gap between them, leaning close to her face as he said harshly. "You are just a kid!"

They stood so close together that they were almost touching. She could feel his breath brushing over her cheek, his eyes daring her to give him a retort but she wouldn't let him see how much his comment had actually hurt her. She didn't want to admit that a part of her had hoped he desired her.

"Right!" She said calmly, stepping back, her eyes never leaving his as she told him challengingly. "So you didn't feel anything at all right now as you saw me naked?"

"Nothing at all." He spoke, his voice void of any emotions.

"Great." Charlie shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "We should go back to the camp."

He followed her with his eyes as she walked towards the forest, allowing himself to let out a soft sigh of relief. He had fooled her. He had seen the flash of hurt crossing her eyes. She believed him that seeing her naked did nothing for him. But he didn't know how long he was able to push her away. He feared it wouldn't take much to make him break. It was better to hold her at arm's length. Better for both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

_2 weeks ago_

"God damn it, Monroe! Where are you?"

She had seen him flinch. She had seen the blood on his shirt. He had been hit and as she hurried through the forest, canvassing all the spots she could think about, the worry about him made her sick to the stomach.

When she finally spotted him at the lake utmost relief rushed through her as she saw him up and alive. She had feared he would die like Nora or Maggie, bleeding out right in front of her without her being able to do anything to prevent it.

She didn't let herself think about the fact that she actually cared if he would live or die as she staggered down the hill, coming to an abrupt stop beside him.

"Let me see!" It came out harsher than she intended to, the fear of losing him still lingering in her brain.

"Someone is bossy here!" He joked, raising one eyebrow teasingly at her.

"Bass!" His head swiveled around as she said his nickname, his eyes wide with surprise before he noticed the fear flashing over her eyes.

"If you insist, Charlotte!" He said, trying to wipe this worried expression off her face by letting his voice taking on a mocking tone.

She knew he was taunting her, deliberately putting emphasis on her full name since she had slipped and called him by the name only Miles was calling him and she was grateful that he tried to raise her anger but she still couldn't keep her hands from shaking as she pulled his shirt up to take a look at the wound.

When her eyes fell on the gash covering his left side she actually gasped, her vision blurring for one second until she took in a deep breath and looked again, realizing that it looked probably worse than it really was.

"It's nothing, Charlie." His voice was soft, trying to put her at ease. "I'll be fine."

"Let me just help you clean it." Charlie rasped, clearing her throat before she reached for the alcohol she had snatched from her mother's supplies, the one for cleaning wounds, and pulling out a relatively clean cloth, she soaked it in alcohol, throwing him an apologetic glance. "That will sting quite a bit."

"I hurt worse." Bass replied nonchalantly, holding his shirt up while she was cleaning the wound, only flinching a few times when she brushed the cloth over one of the deeper parts of the wound.

Charlie reached into her backpack, pulling out a fresh cloth and pressed it over the wound, telling him to keep it there while she wound a bandage around his torso to hold it in place.

She tugged at the bandage, checking if it was tight enough not to slip down his torso and not too tight to feel uncomfortable. Her fingers brushed over his skin and she suddenly felt a tingle rushing from her hands up her arms and down to her stomach, heat pooling between her legs and she jerked her head up, meeting his eyes, staying transfixed by his blue gaze.

And then she leaned forward, even as a voice in her head was screaming that it was a mistake. She felt his muscles flex under her fingers, the heat that was radiating from his body. The blood was rushing in her ears and all she could think about was how his lips would feel against hers. They were so close, she could feel his breath brushing over her mouth and she closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to meet hers but suddenly she was pushed back, almost falling back on her ass if he hadn't steadied her, his eyes blazing into hers and she was stunned into silence by the emotions swirling in them.

Anger, lust, hunger, pain.

"We can't do that, Charlie. It's ..." He struggled for words, avoiding his gaze to the ground, gulping hard and she could see that his hand was trembling as he looked back at her. "It would be a bad idea. We two ..." Another sharp intake of breath before he continued. "We wouldn't work. It would only end with hurt feelings and I … it just wouldn't work."

It was on the tip of her tongue as he got up and walked away. She almost shouted it after him, yelled at him that she just wanted to fuck him and nothing else and even as the anger rushed through her that he actually thought she wanted more than sex a part of her wondered if fucking him was really everything she wanted from him.

"Yes. Of course it is." She mumbled to herself. "It's been too long. I just need a good fuck."

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**The smut will return in the next chapter. With full force! :-)**


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